is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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