There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
