question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
