I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
