A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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