I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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