If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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