Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
