Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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