We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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