Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
