you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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