where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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