I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
