: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
