whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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