I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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