The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
