ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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