What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He shit in the fireplace
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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