You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
