Can Purell be used as lube?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
