We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just found a bag of teeth...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
