i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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