I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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