I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
