but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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