Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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