just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
