yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
As shirtless as possible
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
