So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
