Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
