i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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