It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
A bitchslap is in order.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
