he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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