your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
