break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
