Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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