On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
