maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
