I puked a lego.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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