About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you never un-have a 4some
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
