Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
