Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
