Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
