so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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