We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just had sex bonerless
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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