The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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