I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
