Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
