Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
