How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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